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Power Struggles – Being Right or Being Loving by: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. Mandy and Evan consulted with me for couple’s counseling because they were always bickering. Every little thing seemed to become an issue between them. They loved each other very much, but the bickering was certainly getting in the way of enjoying each other. [...]
Managing Loneliness by: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. My experience from 37 years of counseling individuals and couples is that most of the problems from which people suffer stem from how they handle the events of life, rather than the events themselves. Certainly traumatic and tragic events such as loss of loved ones, financial loss, and health [...]
Do You Want Your Children to Be Like You? by: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. There is an old saying regarding children: “Do as I say, not as I do.†Whoever coined this phrase didn’t know much about children. Children often do not “do as we say.†We are the role models regarding how our children learn [...]
To End or Not to End Your Relationship by: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. Vanessa, 30 years old, is struggling with whether or not to end her six-year marriage. The answer is not at all clear to her. Vanessa and Jon have a “good†marriage. They are kind and caring with each other. They enjoy many of [...]
Does Your Life Lack Meaning? by: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. Vera sought out counseling with me because her doctor advised her to discover the emotional causes of her chronic fatigue. Vera, a successful stockbroker, was in a loving 18-year marriage. On the surface, everything in her life was fine. She had enough money, friends, and a [...]
The Fear of Expressing Anger by: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. There is much to learn from anger, yet many people are afraid of this feeling because they don’t know how to express anger in ways that are helpful rather than harmful. I teach a process at my weekend Inner Bonding workshops called “The Anger Process.†This [...]
Expressing Your Love Through Service by: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. A client of mine told me that she had been making food for a friend of hers who was very ill. “I find that my heart opens and I feel so happy when I am doing something for someone else. I need to do this more, [...]
Healthy Grief, Unhealthy Grief by: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. We all know that it is in one’s highest good to grieve the loss of a relationship. Healthy grief releases feelings rather than allowing them to get stuck in the body. Healthy grief allows the griever to heal the loss and move on with life. Yet grief [...]
Date Lying by: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. A reader of my articles wrote to me about the article I wrote entitled, “Why do People Lie?†He said that he would be “very interested in a similar article with examples about all the lying that women do….At least in the initial stages of dating, women lie sooooo [...]
Relationship Deal-breakers by: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. In the 37 years that I have been counseling couples, I have discovered that there are only a few issues that are true relationship deal-breakers. Many of the issues that tear relationships apart are not actual deal-breakers. Rather, most divorces and breakups are the result of one or both [...]